I realized today while driving back home that… well, that it has never been home. Home has never been a place for me. Home is when I am content alone, when I am most unapologetically me. Home is a feeling, not a place. And I haven’t felt at home in a long time.
I take into this new year a quote I recently found from Julia Cameron: “Leap, and the net will appear.” I get so caught up in needing to know what will happen, so I may avoid the possibility of pain. My goal is authenticity, a goal I set a year and a half ago, but could not pursue while still masking my true self. I’m happy to say that they are finally beginning to reveal themselves. I will leap over every cliff if it means living my truth.
I have a hard time committing to things. Growing up I quit every sport and activity I started. From a young age I was afraid of failure, and of not being good enough. Those fears run far deeper than I could have ever imagined. And now, as I’ve emotionally regressed to the mind of a … Continue reading Fear of Failure
This morning, I sat down to work through some confusing emotions I’ve been experiencing the past few days. I’ve had to relearn everything I know about my mental health over the last few months and this (more or less) shows that I’ve made a lot more progress than I give myself credit for.
Day 1: I work through some anxiety, talk a little about my relationship with suicide, and write a new about page.
At least once a week, somebody asks me if I’m still writing or if I’ve made any progress on my book. I usually give some vague statement and change the subject; not really sure why, but I’m nothing if not introspective. The answer is… kinda (look, a vague statement). In one of my first posts, … Continue reading I’m still a writer and I always will be.
“People listen to your songs and they feel the full force of the emotion that you put into them. You do it beautifully. It makes you sad because they’re sad songs. They make people feel sad, but they also make them feel heard. They feel understood. You give that to people, you give that to me, and thats why I love you.”
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